On Acceptance

Tuesday, August 25, 2015


Acceptance is important in any and every relationship — accepting a person for who they are. This does not mean you have to like every single aspect about a person (that would be highly unlikely); you just have to accept them, flaws and all, the good and the bad. (Now, if you're friends with somebody or in a relationship of some sort, it's implied that you accept them and they accept you. However, sometimes we learn the hard way that this isn't the case, though it should be.)

When I think about this idea, there are two things that come to mind, both of which make me internally scream YES! whenever I see them again.

The first is a snippet from John Green's "Paper Towns" (no spoilers, I promise):
"Can we call Ben then?" 
"No. Ben's an asshole." 
Radar looked at me sideways. "Of course he is. You know your problem, Quentin? You keep expecting people not to be themselves. I mean, I could hate you for being massively unpunctual and for never being interested in anything other than Margo Roth Spiegelman, and for, like, never asking me about how it's going with my girlfriend—but I don't give a shit, man, because you're you. My parents have a shit ton of black Santas, but that's okay. They're them. I'm too obsessed with a reference Web site to answer my phone sometimes when my friends call, or my girlfriend. That's okay, too. That's me. You like me anyway. And I like you. You're funny, and you're smart, and you may show up late, but you always show up eventually."
I love that. I love it. It's probably my favorite part of the entire book.

I don't give a shit, man, because you're you. YES!

You may show up late, but you always show up eventually. YES!

John Green, you are simply amazing.

The second thing is from an episode of "Friends" ("The One With The Joke"):
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are? 
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky. 
Phoebe: That's true, I am flaky. 
Rachel: So, what, you're just okay with being flaky? 
Phoebe: Yeah, totally.
Again, I love it. Love. It. If a person's flaw isn't truly hurting anyone, who cares? Let's move on.

Some people talk a lot, some people don't talk enough, some people are always late (me), some people are high maintenance or pushovers or flaky. Do these things make that person a bad friend/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/PERSON? No.

Acceptance. Brought to you by John Green, David Crane, and Marta Kauffman.

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