What If I Stopped Blogging?

Wednesday, October 18, 2017


I hate when I start writing about writing, or blogging about blogging, because I feel like it makes me look like a try-hard. It makes it seem like my thoughts aren't genuine even though they are.

Anyway.
On my drive home from work yesterday, I was thinking about my blog.

About how I haven't put up a post during the week in two weeks. How that's the first time that's happened since May. How I haven't been on Twitter much lately, so I haven't been promoting my blog over there as much, but does it even matter since I barely have any followers anyway? Do my "promotions" actually do anything? Surely there are bloggers out there who don't use Twitter but still have an audience. I wonder how long it took popular bloggers to attract a lot of readers. I wonder if they ever doubt themselves. How long can I blog without an increase in my readership before it's embarrassing?

Sigh.
It was a long train of thought, but it all came back to me wondering where I'm going with this blog. Or rather, where I'm not going. I kept thinking, What if I stopped blogging? Would it matter?

My first thought was no.

I don't mean to be a downer for saying that, but for real, no, it wouldn't really matter. Most people probably wouldn't notice, and those who would notice would get over it. I don't have "fans." I don't get many messages responding to my posts. I don't write about anything ground-breaking. I could stop blogging and it'd have no real impact.

So why don't I stop? If, in the two years I've had this blog, I haven't made two years' worth of progress (whatever that is), if it feels pointless anyway, why not stop? It'd be one less thing for me to worry about. I'd certainly have more free time. What if?

Well, if I stopped, I think I'd feel like something was missing. I think I'd feel dissatisfied, eager to share, antsy to do more. I like writing, and I like bonding with other people over shared interests and feelings, and this is my place to do those things.

Putting up a post that I'm proud of is one of the best feelings. If I get positive feedback on that, even better.

Sometimes blogging feels like one big Internet hangout. Sometimes it feels like screaming into the void.
Sometimes it's rewarding, others discouraging.
It's a coin I'm willing to flip.

It's not always easy, but it's always worth it, whether it's for my benefit or someone else's. So I'm gonna keep going.



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